seducemymindyouidiot:

jaegerbitch:

if someone calls you a slut, break their fucking neck without even hesitating or saying a single word and as they lay there on the ground dead, lean down close to their corpse and whisper

slut means the end in swedish

This should probably not be construed as valid legal advice. 

(via faboratory)

Notes
183879
Posted
13 seconds ago

guy:

yeah baby i am an ANIMAL in bed. more specifically a koala. i can sleep for 22 hours a day

(Source: guy, via biancaaar)

Notes
222000
Posted
29 minutes ago

twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:

cell-mate:

crackerhell:

ethanwearsprada:

i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense

yes

pluto is smaller than russia. why did we ever even consider it a planet?

BECAUSE IT’S A PART OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM

OHANA MEANS FAMILY

FAMILY MEANS NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND

(via dutchster)

Notes
483015
Posted
29 minutes ago

unitedlarry:

when did homosexuality become wrong i mean in ancient rome they just had giant orgies and nobody thought twice about it

(Source: dvaefranco, via perksofbeingfunny)

Notes
389660
Posted
36 minutes ago

kushdrinker:

how to give a handjob:

1. grab boner mid-shaft

2. pump until confetti is released

3. party

(via isacknewton)

Notes
87392
Posted
36 minutes ago

starfleetinginterest:

what if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent

(via anger-is-weakness)

Notes
349380
Posted
2 days ago

rapewhistled:

why do old people drive slow they barely have any time left like GOOOOO ur dying

(via anger-is-weakness)

Notes
518150
Posted
2 days ago
wizardgrum:

my biology teacher hated me a lot

wizardgrum:

my biology teacher hated me a lot

(via anger-is-weakness)

Notes
171313
Posted
2 days ago
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